Heavenly Father, just knows.....

Heavenly Father KNOWS who I am and what I need. I love when simple truths like this hit me so hard. Lately it has been really hard to parent Kinsley. I feel that I lose my patience too much. I feel that I am constantly putting her in time out. I don't like to raise my voice and I feel that I do it too much. Do you ever at the end of the day wish that you didn't focus so much on the mess and focus more on your child? Well I have been feeling that way for the last couple of weeks. And last night My Heavenly Father showed me that he knows what I need. It first started when I was reading my scriptures. I came across a letter that I haven't read in months. This letter was so important to me. The letter was written by my sister Lisa on the day Kinsley was blessed. I was going through a very hard time after Kinsley was born. I felt so disconnected with her. I felt like she didn't know that I was her mother and that she didn't want me to be it. I know it sounds crazy to put all of that on a month old baby. But when I looked at her that is what I felt. So last night I am reading the letter again. All of the memories came back. The moment when I felt connected for the first time with Kinsley. The part that stood out this time was "You and Chris have brought a very special person here to this earth. She will bring you more happiness and joy and more pain and worry than you will ever know. She is so small now it is almost impossible to imagine her putting on her own shoes to go out and play.There will be moments to come where you will look into her eyes and you will feel connected." That is what I needed to hear. I have come so far from the time I thought I couldn't do it anymore. My little girl has changed in so many ways. I need to know that there are going to be hard times that happen and I will lose my patience and I will tell Kinsley that I will sell her on eBay.( I would never do that, but she doesn't know that.:)) But there are so many great and wonderful times. Heavenly Father has blessed me in so many ways. I truly feel that Kinsley is here to help me become a better person. And I can't and won't let her down. Well after realizing that I have come so far from the mom of a baby that was a month old to now a momma of a baby that is 19 months old. I went into the living room and told Chris it was time for bed. He was reading our blog. We both started to read other blogs. I came across Kristy's and she talked about coming across this. The blog belongs to a woman that is amazing. I don't even know who she is, but she has helped me so much. Her little baby girl died. I came across something that she said that made me want to run into Kinsley's room and wake her and just hold her. "So I guess my message for the day is -- Love your little ones--even the ones that drive you crazy. If you could see them the way God sees them -- you would be astounded at their glory." So that is what I will do. I will see Kinsley as Heavenly Father sees her. I love her so much. She is waking up right now and I am happy to start a new day with her.